I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.--Groucho Marx

It was such a lovely day I thought it's a pity to get up.--W. Somerset Maugham

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.--W.C.Fields

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.--Charles Schultz

We're not lost. We're locationaly challenged.--John M. Ford

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.

Everything takes longer than you think.

If it works, tear it apart and find out why!

Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

If I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called "research".

Every kind of action has a not-so-kind reaction.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

Nothing is as easy as it looks.

Nothing improves with age.

The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish

The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.

Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

In the history of life, no good news has followed that sentence "We have to talk."

One child is not enough, but two children is too many.

Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.

Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Just when you think you have hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.